Archive for the 'Family Relationship' Category

Aug 17 2009

Be Nice to Your Parent – A Story For Us to Think About

I read the following with mix feelings…sad, sympathy, worry for my own fate.  One said, parents can always take care of their own kids, one, two or ten of them, it’s not a big problem.  But that’s not a sure guarantee that kids can also take care of their old parents.  What is our OWN preparation for this?? Of course, SET SOME SAVING for US to spend during old age time.  DON’T RELY ON KIDS to take care of us.  In my own opinion, if we hope to get some care from the kids when we’re old, we have to also check our current the relationship with our parents.  There’s a RULE of NATURE; If we do good things to others, in return, people will always treat us with due respect.  If it’s the opposite, then we know the outcomes.  It’s most relevant to family’s relationship.  We care for our old parent wholeheartedly, we will be awarded with the same care later.  I always believe in that.  Think about it….    

FEELING GUILTY ABOUT BECOMING A BURDEN TO DAUGHTER 

I am a retired civil servant in my 70s and a widower.  I live in a single storey house with my spinster daughter who retired two years ago as a government clerk.  All these years my daughter has been looking after us.  I walk about with the aid of the walking stick.  My other three children and their families are doing very well but for one reason or another, they decided that it is best I remain with my single daughter.

I have decided to leave my house to her but they were unhappy as they expected a share of the house after I die.  My children don’t give me any financial support.  They will do so only after I have used up my modest savings.  When they visit, they bring me fruits and cakes.  A close relative told me that they are afraid that their sister might take any money they give me.  My friends and relatives say that they should at least give some “guilt money” to help out as they are free from the responsibility of looking after me in my old age.

With that extra money, I will feel more secure and we can be more extravagent where food is concerned.  I don’t want my daughter to use her money for my medical expenses, etc.  She has done more that enough.  I will be bed-ridden.  I feel so guilty that I have become such a burden to her.  She can’t be free like others to go where and when she pleases because she is worried about my safety.  She has sacrificed so much for us.  I hope she won’t have to do so for too long.

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